


Even now, You're Still My Inner Monster

by Moonstars (Flamingo27)



Category: Gintama
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempted Kidnapping, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Drama & Romance, Eventual Pron, Eventual Smut, F/M, I need Kamui pron, Kidnapping, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Suicide Attempt, i declare that there will be lemons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:21:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26720569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flamingo27/pseuds/Moonstars
Summary: Fujiwara Konoe loathes the Yato Clan from every bits of her bones due to her painful past.However, to fulfill her duty as an emperial samurai that protects the princess, she finds herself in the Harusame 7th Division, having to put up with her monsters, the Yato clan.Eventually she learns that maybe... they are not that bad. As she engages more with the vermillion-haired captain of the division named Kamui, she starts to think that maybe.... he's not a monster, but she is.
Relationships: Kamui/Original Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	1. Rewinding Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> I'm obsessed with Kamui and dramatic romance. Also, warning, I haven't finished the manga yet so I don't know how it ended. There may be some components added to this story that is completely different from the canon.

_Crimson blood splattered on the ground and the lifeless bodies she once knew piled up around her. The night was so dark and only the tiniest glint of the moon lit up the pool of blood around her._

_“…Mom? Dad…?” She called out, feeling how parched her throat had become._

_Her eyes slowly gazed at the closest and smaller body beside her. “N…Nobuhiro…?”_

_How did this happen?_

_The night was just supposed to be like any other night when screams filled their home. Upon staring at her lifeless mother, father, and little brother, she shifted her gaze and her eyes met with a cold stare of the man with blood-stained hands. Despite the lateness of the hour, he held an umbrella in his hand and finally, he approached her with heavy steps._

_She was frozen. She couldn’t move and he grabbed her so painfully she scream—_

“Konoe!” Her breathing hitched and she gasped for air as her own name echoed in her ears. Eyes wide open, she found herself staring at the usual wooden ceiling of her room. She slowly turned her head to meet the source of the voice.

_It was a dream._

“Are you having nightmares again?” Worried eyes met with her own hazel orbs. Slowly, she sat up and her lips curved to a smile, directing it to the lady who has been sitting beside her futon.

“I apologize for that, Sakiko-san. Have you been waking me up?” Konoe inquired before standing up, still in her sleeping kimono. Despite the long sleep she had, her eyes looked more tired than ever.

_Memories of the past are haunting her._

Sakiko, a court lady of the imperial palace, stared at the young woman in front of her. Fujiwara Konoe has been in her care ever since she was just a little girl. She remembers very well when Konoe first arrived at the imperial palace covered in bloodstains. Poor girl couldn’t even speak to anyone for months and would always wail in the middle of the night.

“Hurry up and get dressed. Your uncle will be arriving soon and will meet you.” Sakiko announced before assisting the younger one in putting her _haori_ embroidered with intricate details paired with her _umanori._ Although the words of the older one caught her attention, she did not ask why her uncle would be meeting her so suddenly.

* * *

Konoe walked at the garden of the imperial guard headquarters, sword tucked to her side, while her hazel eyes gazed blankly at the withering flowers. The cold breeze blew against her young countenance, blowing the strands of her tied dark hair. _Why are her nightmares coming back to her…? Now, of all times…?_

It made her feel uneasy and without even realizing, she had already reached the room where her uncle is. One of the court ladies then immediately announced her arrival.

“Yoshifusa-sama, lady Konoe-sama has arrived.” With that, the wooden doors had slid open revealing her uncle who was sitting.

Konoe bowed down before sitting in front of her uncle. Fujiwara Yoshifusa, the adopted brother of her deceased father had become the head of the Imperial Guards protecting the emperor. Due to this, she herself had an opportunity to learn the way of the sword, training the young ones who are designated to be members of the imperial guards in the future.

“Konoe, I’ve come here to appoint you to a mission.” The older man stated. “A mission?” She repeated, confusion obvious through her voice. It was very rare that she is given any missions to fulfill.

There was a pause and a minute of silence that filled the room. It was excruciating but it just indicated the significance of this mission. A top-secret for her uncle had to look around for a second to make sure that the surroundings are safe.

“Princess Okiko, the daughter of the Emperor, is being targeted. I’ll get your mission straight to you. You will act as the double of the princess. I will give you further details later but the mission is tomorrow night. Get yourself ready.”

She froze momentarily but immediately coughed out a response. “Yes, uncle. I understand. There is no greater honor than to be able to protect the princess.”

* * *

That is what led them to this boring situation or well, _mission._

Kamui couldn’t care less about government and politics stuff. Just like years ago when they joined to assassinate the shogun, he wasn’t really after some weaklings’ head. What interested him would be the samurai people that he gets to fight there.

It’s been four years since then but his intentions never changed. Sure, he had slightly mended his relationship with his sister and father but above anything else, he had always been a pirate.

_A villain._

It’s more fun this way because after all, where can he put all these strength to good use? A Yato sure has to be in the battlefield or else this thirst inside him will never be quenched. However, regret kind of rushed inside him after realizing that kidnapping a princess might not be so interesting after all. Unless he gets to fight that white-haired samurai, and oh, that brown-haired policeman would do as well, this will not pique his interest.

Apparently, they can’t be too picky with their mission right now though, because after all the chaos that occurred in Harusame years ago and the death of the elders minimized their connections in doing business. So now, they have to establish new connections and starting with the dirty governments of the different planets, that would be a great asset.

Abuto then had to practically beg him not to do anything nor _accidentally_ kill the target of this mission. Because if it’s killing, damn, that is the easiest thing Kamui can do but kidnapping? He’s not very sure about it.

His cerulean orbs stared below, gazing at the tiny expensive looking building near the palace of the Emperor. Their ship is starting to lower down to the ground at the nearby forest where they cannot be seen.

“Let’s finish this early and leave, Abuto.” His usual carefree tone emerged from his voice as he spoke which made the older raise a curious brow at him.

“To make this fun, how about we put a condition? Whoever gets the target first, gets a pay bonus.” With that announcement, Kamui jumped off enthusiastically from the edge of the airship, landing confidently on the ground with his umbrella resting on his shoulder.

“Wha—oi! Idiot captain!” Abuto called but just sighed, jumping off the ship with everyone else.

The 7th division of the Harusame scattered around the imperial grounds, unintentionally destroying some properties in the process upon rushing to find their target. Guards appeared here and there but the flowers that once bloomed in various colors are now tainted blood-red.

_Weak. Weak. Nothing but weaklings._

Kamui repeated in his mind as he slaughtered mercilessly in the corridor of the building. His innocent façade smeared with droplets of blood. His footsteps echoed in the halls of the now empty building, nothing but dead bodies in his way.

His steps came to a halt in front of the huge sliding doors. With the intricate designs that cover it, his instincts tell that he’s right on the mark.

* * *

_They are here. No… he’s here._

Konoe mentally alerted herself as she sat there, wearing the same _Jūnihitoe_ that an imperial princess would wear. Layers of garments covered her but she knows that the sweat from her body is not because of that. The two guards in front of her made a stance as they prepared themselves for front assault.

Both large wooden doors went down as the vermillion-haired man entered the room, wearing a dark Chinese-inspired clothing. He is holding an umbrella in his hand and pointed it at the two guards in front of her.

_Two deafening gunshots._

It echoed in her ears and in just a moment, the men who were protecting her were down on the ground, blood oozing from their foreheads. However, despite that, her body was frozen in place. She couldn’t move. _Just like back then._

 _“Mom…? Dad…?”_ The voice of her younger self echoed in her mind.

Her hazel orbs glistening with tears stared at Kamui with… disbelief. He wasn’t the same man that slaughtered her family when she was little but definitely, same species… same umbrella, same strength, and same killing style.

_A Yato._

“Oh, I got it.” Kamui interrupted her thoughts. His face remains nonchalant, smiling carelessly in front of the bodies he had killed. _A monster_. Filled with rage, Konoe grabbed the nearby sword from the guard and stood up.

The young Yato opened his eyes in an amused expression, revealing his clear blue orbs while his mouth formed an ‘Ohhh’, as if he had witnessed something entertaining. “Are you going to fight? In another situation, I wouldn’t mind just killing you but I got orders you see. So can you just follow quietly—“

“Y… You bastard!” Konoe launched at him, grasping on the sword with all her strength, not aware of how heavy her garments are as she ran to him, sword pointed at his direction. But Kamui was not fazed at all as he stared at her with his now cold-blooded stare.

“Useless resistance.” He said coldly and he just moved a few steps forward, forming his fist before it met her stomach. The impact was dreadful that she immediately coughed out blood before her consciousness started to fade. She felt his arm wrap around her before throwing her like nothing to another person.

“Looks like I win the bonus pay.” Kamui said.

Abuto appeared behind him and immediately caught the girl. “Captain, you ought to be more careful.” The older man held the girl and checked on her. “Humans break more easily. Good thing she’s alive but I think you broke a few ribs.”

Upon hearing his words, the vermillion-haired Yato turned to him with a dark smile. “Not my fault that you all took so long to get here. Since I did all the job today, how about no pay for you all this month?”

“I-I was just joking. Ya’ know, good thing she’s unconscious now. Less trouble for us. As expected of captain.” Abuto retorted and carried the girl out on his shoulder like a sack of potato, hurrying before Kamui runs out of patience.

With that, the members of the 7th division Harusame all boarded back to the ship, carrying an unconscious earthling back to space. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Haori = a traditional Japanese hip- or thigh-length jacket worn over a kimono.  
> *Umanori = Umanori (Traditional Hakama) are the oldest and most traditional style of pants used in Japan.  
> *Jūnihitoe = a style of formal court dress first worn in the Heian period by noble women.


	2. Incarnated Inner Monsters

_“What a tragedy. I heard her entire family got wiped out.” A lady said to another while multiple stares pierced through a small form of a child._

_Her tiny lips trembled as she tried to speak. She wanted to call her parents just like any other child but they are gone. They disappeared in an instant._

_Life is fleeting._

_Just like that, everything changed._

_“No, it’s not like that. If it weren’t for those monsters, everything would still be here.” Her thoughts of hatred screamed inside her mind.  
_

_That’s right, if it weren’t for that cold-blooded mercenary clan, everyone she loves would still be here._

* * *

A splash of cold water landed on her countenance, snapping her out of her painful trance. Her almost lifeless hazel eyes could only make out some towering shadows of men in front of her as she laid there on the cold metallic floor of a spaceship.

There were voices, muffled voices as if she had sunk underwater.

“No good. She’s not awake but she’s alive.” A man said as he placed the empty bucket on the floor, water pooling around the half-conscious girl in front of them as they tried to wake her up with its coldness.

“Well, I’ll be damned.” Abuto almost face-palmed before looking at the younger Yato behind him. He could see that damned cowlick hair twitching as if it’s alive, signifying that their commander does not care or whatsoever about the situation that they are in. “What should we do? Looks like this is really not the princess.” He added, hoping for some kind of different reaction from the young leader.

“Well? Just pass it of as _the_ princess.” Kamui stated as if it’s such an obvious resolution.

How could they miss this? It should have been obvious that those dirty bastards would be slipping in some doubles for the princess. They should have known this back when they tried to assassinate the shogun. Humans after all are fun with all their disguises and hide and seek unlike the Yato that faces everything head-on.

Abuto knew that their commander isn’t patient enough to go back to earth just to fetch the real princess and it would be more troublesome because definitely, the security will be more fortified if they come back now. Not that they can’t deal with that but their commander sure as hell does not find fighting there interesting now and everyone knows it would cost more if they try to force this. That smile on Kamui’s face tells him he’s not changing his mind either.

Letting out a sigh, Abuto conceded. “Let’s just hope that the buyer of this one has bad eyesight. For now, everyone stay on their guard and not let any scratch on this young lady if we really want to convince them that this is the princess.”

“Well then, you can handle this one. That’s all for today, we’re dismissed.” Kamui announced and turned around, walking away from his troops. The older man just placed a hand against his own stressed out countenance at how indifferent their commander is about this.

Looks like that’s another heavy load of responsibilities placed on Abuto’s shoulders and he’s wondering if he should start asking for some kind of raise.

* * *

Hours passed by, probably days? Konoe does not know for how long had she been out but now that she has slowly regained consciousness, there was a sharp pain around her torso and getting up from laying position took a huge amount of little strength she had left in her.

_Where is she…?_

The raven-haired girl looked around her surroundings and she had noticed that she’s on a small mattress now. She shifted her sitting position slightly and winced in pain, her hand immediately touching her own stomach to feel where the pain was from. Immediately, memories flashed in her mind of the punch she received and all the lives that were lost only for her to be taken away.

_So the princess is safe, at the very least. But the Yato clan is the one that planned all this… for what reason? They probably found out I’m not the princess so why are they keeping me alive…?_

She thought in her head and hated how her life is being spared by those monsters. She examined the room that she’s in. It was diminutive and surrounded by nothing but metallic walls. Her eyes then caught the small banner hanging on the wall, boring an insignia of a galactic crime syndicate that she has heard about before.

_The Harusame._

Her gaze shifted down on the floor and saw that there was a small opening under the door and in front of it, there was a tray of something that looks like a meal. However, the food is not very recognizable as one. At least for a human like her, she has never seen anything like that. Her tiny form jolted ever so slightly when the metal door opened, the sound of it moving so excruciating to her ears.

But she stayed alert, despite the pain, she hurried over to the other side of the bed, away from the door and grabbed her sword for self-defense. A tall man with dark-hair appeared and stared at her for a moment before another man walked from behind him. This one looked stressed out than the other and his dull leaf-colored hair was messy from its own tiny curls.

The dark-haired one just picked up the tray of food and replaced it with a new tray of almost the same looking meal. She almost scrunched her nose at the sight. The older one probably noticed this and sighed.

“Sorry if we don’t have those fancy meals from the castle but you gotta eat or you’ll die.” Abuto said, his eyes looking tired as ever.

It somehow matched her own dull hazel eyes or probably worse, as dark circles had already formed around hers. “No way I’ll eat the things you bastards give me. Who are you and what do you want?”

Exhaustion was already written all over Abuto’s face and he instructed the dark-haired Yato to leave. He then just sighed and closed his eyes as he explained. “I’m Abuto, Vice-commander of this ship. I won’t give you a long-ass explanation but you’re here because you’re a part of our business. Our bargaining tool.”

Konoe gave him a sharp glare but he wasn’t fazed. Abuto turned his heels to get out of the room. “Also, don’t even bother trying to escape. Unless you can survive the space, that is.” With that, the older one left as well, leaving her dumbfounded.

So they are in space. _What will happen to her…? Bargaining tool…? What does he even mean?_

There are so many questions left unanswered in her but only one thing stood out in everything that she felt inside her. It was anger that seethed through her. She didn’t even notice the warm tears that are streaming down from her eyes as she felt numb and cold all over.

She hates them, she loathes them.

But she hates herself the most.

For despite years of trying to get stronger and stronger, she still can’t do anything against them as they all take everything from her.

_Her inner monsters now incarnated in front of her._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love burning myself slowly, just like slow burn romance. ;)


	3. The Same Eyes of the Monster

The sound of the calm engine filled the control room as a few numbers of men stared at the large screen in front of them. There were those who are seating while the commander and the vice commander of the said ship stood behind, calmly analyzing the alerts and status of their ship through the screen.

“We have a bit of a problem, Captain.” Abuto broke the silence, his eyes shifting from the screen to the vermillion-haired man beside him.

“What is it?” The younger one inquired, his cerulean orbs still glued at the screen while his lips are curved to its usual smile. It’s not even new to the older Yato to see their leader being untroubled by anything. At this point, he knows that the young rabbit smiles even at the face of death.

“ _She_ is still not eating.” He stated, his eyes fixated on Kamui for any response or any kind of plan he may have about this situation. Normally, Abuto wouldn’t be persistent about this either but the means of their business is going to fail.

She had been unconscious for two days and when she woke up, she hasn’t taken a single bite from all the foods that they delivered to her. It’s been a total of four days now and at this rate, that girl is truly going to die.

“Hmm…” Their commander hummed, his smile disappearing before he looked at his vice-commander. It surprised the other a bit because there’s no way that their carefree leader would be thinking about the well-being of an earthling even if she is a bargaining tool.

Kamui stared at Abuto for some time with his blue eyes. “Who is _she_?” He asked, his eyelashes fluttering as he blinked a few times oh so innocently.

The older one almost comically fell onto the floor but stopped himself. Instead, he lets out a deep breath to get all the disappointment out of him. He should have known that there’s nothing to expect from Kamui about this kind of matter.

“The young lady. The earthling we’re going to bargain as the princess.” Abuto responded with an exhausted tone, his eyebrow almost twitching.

“ _Oh. That.”_ The younger Yato’s smile went back, his eyes closing as he smiled up at the screen once again. “She’ll eat when she’s hungry. Just let it be.” He stated.

_He’s obviously not putting any efforts into thinking about this._

Abuto thought to himself before he added. “She’s going to die, you know. I don’t know how many days earthlings can last without food.”

“Huh? Abuto, I thought you’re more into a vixen-type.” Kamui said out of the blue.

“Don’t get the wrong idea, you dumbass captain.” The older Yato placed a hand on his own chin, closing his eyes as he got into a thinking posture. “This old man here will never lay a hand on any lass. I prefer the mature ones. Those who are filled with wisdom.” Abuto said with a smile as he imagined his preferred woman.

“That so? Looks like you can deal with this, then.” Kamui responded, his expression unchanging before he turned his heel to get out of the room.

“Hah? Oi, wait—“

“Abuto, here in my ship, we don’t look after anyone. If they don’t want to eat, then let them be. If they want to eat, they have to work for it.” The younger Yato stated, smiling he may be but there was a hint of seriousness in his voice.

The vice-commander just stared at the closed door for a while as Kamui disappeared from the room before letting out another heavy breath.

This is getting troublesome.

* * *

After hours of laying on the mattress, Konoe realized how damped her pillow had become. She did not even know that she was crying for a few hours now. Ever since she woke up, this had been her routine. She would open her eyes to cry before falling into a deep slumber again, letting her nightmares devour her.

Slowly, she sat up and examined the room once again. For the first time in four days, she shifted from her laying position and her feet are now dangling from the bed. Carefully, she dipped her toes on the cold, metallic surface of the floor. It was almost painful for her skin to come in contact with something so frigid somehow but she managed to stand.

Her attention was caught by the new set of meal on the floor, placed right in front of the door. However, she does not remember ever noticing someone opening the door to get the food that she did not touch before.

_Disgusting._

The appearance of the food itself made her feel sick to her stomach and so she stood up, paying no heed to the meal on the floor. Instead, she discarded the layers of kimono that she had been wearing, leaving only one that is clinging loosely to her body.

She walked to a door adjacent to the bed, revealing a small bathroom. Unkempt shower, sink, and the mirror even covered with nothing but a layer of dust. Her feet led her to the bathroom mirror but she could not see herself.

She did not want to see herself. Her form was trembling and she doesn’t know why she’s so afraid.

After a few moments of silence, she went out of the bathroom and grabbed her sword. The cry of the metal door echoed in the empty hallway of the ship as she finally stepped out of the room for the first time. Her eyes did not examine her own surroundings, or rather, she could not care less about anything right now.

Instead, the raven-haired girl dragged her weary body at the halls of the Harusame Pirate Spaceship. Her feet were bare, and her hair tie was no longer there. Her long raven locks hanging down until her waist, strands tangled in a mess.

Her legs felt weak and it was only a matter of time until she lost her balance; her hands immediately finding a leverage. She pressed herself against the metallic wall of the ship, leaning her shoulder and temple against it when her eyes caught a nearby large door.

Konoe limped there and as soon as she hovered her hand to touch the door, it automatically opened. Without thinking twice, she invited herself inside. It was dark but there were lights coming from the ceiling, though they were very dim. Her now dull hazel eyes scanned the room and all she could see are different equipment. Combat and training equipment to be exact but they are all destroyed.

As expected of the Yato. They probably don’t use these for training. Instead, they probably use these as an outlet and destroy them in the process. She will then use this opportunity to let out some of her own unpleasant feelings as well. The young woman then unsheathed her sword and remembered all the steps she used to train to be a samurai.

She swung her sword around, trying to get the feel back to her despite being out of rhythm. Suddenly, her blade halted and wouldn’t budge. When her eyes shifted towards the cause of it, hazel orbs met with blue ones, startling her.

_When did he—?!_

The vermillion-haired man had apparently caught the back of her blade, holding it with a smile. Konoe immediately pulled the sword out of his grip and she immediately jumped back. She did not even notice his presence entering the room nor the automatic doors opening.

“Yo, I see you’re awake and energetic. Isn’t that nice?” Kamui said, his palm lifted up beside his head as if he’s greeting a friend. His usual eye-smile present on his innocent countenance.

Konoe got into her fighting stance, holding her sword in front of her with her two hands. But they were shaking, even her blade was trembling. She felt dampness in her eyes but she was not going to bawl in front of this man. Right now, there was nothing but rage and hatred filling up her heart. 

“…Why am I here…?” The girl asked, her dark eyes glaring sharply at him as she remained in her defensive stance.

While as for him, he had already put up his eye smile and scratched his cheek in a carefree manner. “Some kind of amanto is apparently interested in the princess of your country but looks like we picked the wrong one.”

She felt the grip on her sword become tighter, her knuckles almost turning white. “So you know… then why are you keeping me alive?”

Kamui opened his eyes and blinked innocently. “What do you mean? Are _you_ worth killing?”

Upon hearing his answer, she charged forward once again; swinging her sword aimlessly at him. The Yato male almost laughed at her scattered way of using the sword, evading each of her attacks with no effort. Kamui flipped back high in the air and sat on one of the usable equipment. “I had more expectations because you’re a samurai but how disappointing.”

Konoe gritted her teeth, her dark eyes hidden behind her fringes. Her defensive stance is gone and she just stood there, sword hanging from her hand.

_Murderer. Heartless. They are the ones who deserve to die. They all should just die._

_Everyone should just disappear._

Slowly, she lifted her head up and glared at Kamui’s direction. “Don’t talk to me as if you’re something amazing. You and your clan… killed my family. All of you are nothing but heartless murderers. You…

… _monster_.”

She uttered calmly but her voice was filled with venom coursing from the hatred deep within her and Kamui was not poisoned, no. He was not fazed at all but there was… _something_. It irked him that this girl thinks she gets to mouth off him just like that.

In a blink of an eye, he was in front of her and without a hint of gentleness, he grabbed her by the collar of her kimono, slamming her hard against the metallic wall. Konoe coughed in pain as she had let go of her sword on the impact. The vermillion-haired Yato lifted her up with one hand, gripping her kimono collar tightly and she could do nothing but gasp for air as he had locked the passage from her throat.

Her toes now only tipping from the floor, Konoe struggled to breathe as her hands held onto Kamui’s wrist instead, trying to pry his hand off. But she had no strength; never in a million years she'll be able to compete with a Yato's boar strength. 

“I think you’re misunderstanding something…” He started, looking up at her with his icy glare while his voice almost not recognizable from his always cheery tone. “I’m not sparing your life because I want to. You’re here because you’re part of _our_ bargain. Now, if you want to see a monster, I can kill you now and we’ll just go back to slaughter everyone in that palace.”

With that, Konoe’s eyes widened and immediately stopped her futile resistance. Kamui knows she understood what he meant and so he lets go of her before he turned his heel, looking back for a moment to leave a few words.

“Also, if you think I’m a monster, then maybe you can take a good look in the mirror. You have the same eyes as me.

 _The same monster_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When's the romance gonna start? No one knows--


	4. Dying and Living Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Triggers of Suicidal Thoughts

Dumbfounded, Konoe just stared at the distance for a moment.

_Her…? The same eyes as theirs…?_

As soon as realization had hit her, she was already alone in the vast room filled with destroyed training equipment. She hurriedly got up on her feet, holding her painfully throbbing throat as she ran back to her room. The loud bang of the door sounded in the dead hallways as her door was shut loudly.

Without catching her breath, she strode to the bathroom, wiping the dusty mirror to see her own reflection. Her long black hair that was once well-kempt in the palace is now tangled and her hazel eyes… is the same as always.

Dark, dull, filled with hatred, and vengeance.

All her life she lived like this, without moving on from what has happened to her past. She has done nothing but hate, pretending to care for others but in reality, she has always only cared about herself. She can’t go on like this. She can’t go on living. Maybe, maybe she deserves to die.

She quickly grabbed her sword and with tears, gritting her teeth hard, she pointed the sharp tip against her throat.

_“Father, I want to be like you someday. A strong samurai!”_

Her own little voice echoed in her mind as she was suddenly reminded of the happiest time of her childhood.

_“Really? I’m happy to hear that from my own daughter!” Her father laughed as they both sat at the veranda beside their humble dojo. “Listen, Konoe, life is not about being physically strong.” He patted her small head while smiling down at her._

_“When you become a samurai, you must become strong enough to protect the good and believe that there is a good even in the bad. That way, you can protect everyone…”_

Tears streamed down from her eyes as she remembered her father’s words and how far she had become from what he had hoped her to be. She stared at herself once again before washing her face. She can’t go on living _like this_. It’s not too late.

“Believe the good… even in the bad.”

She murmured to herself before she immediately showered and changed her kimono to a much cleaner one from the layers she had. After drying her hair, she tied her long raven locks to a ponytail before grabbing the food near the door.

To start, she has to eat. Konoe stared at the unrecognizable food before carefully taking a bite. “Hmf—“

She quickly spat out the food, obviously horrified at the taste. Are they seriously eating this? So she got up and stormed off to the kitchen, her hazel eyes mirrored with determination this time.

* * *

“It will take about 5 months before we reach that planet.” Abuto stated, his eyes tiredly looking at the paper in his hand before it shifted to the younger Yato.

Kamui was sitting there on one of the swivel chairs inside the meeting room of their division, however, his attention was somewhere else. Abuto could tell at how his stupid captain’s cowlick is dancing along with his occasional hums.

“Hey, are you listening? Captain, I know you’re not interested in this but you gotta know some details. Like how we gotta keep that girl for almost 5 months.” The older one explained.

Before Kamui could respond, the automatic door of the room opened, revealing a panicked Yato who is a member of their division. “C-Captain, there’s trouble.” The man announced, his eyes looking dreadfully worried.

The two leaders of the division got out and followed the man to the said trouble that he mentioned. Abuto is getting more and more exhausted at things that are happening so he silently wished this is something not serious.

Their footsteps echoed in the hallway as they let the man lead them to… to the kitchen? Would there any be serious trouble in the kitchen? The older male does not know what to expect as soon as the automatic door to the kitchen opened. It was crowded inside but the attention of the horde of men there was shifted as Kamui and Abuto entered, each one of them gulping in nervousness.

“What’s wro—“ Abuto was about to ask when he was immediately interrupted at the sight.

Platters and platters of delicious looking delicacies were on the table and the team of Yato tasked to cook that day were just at the sidelines, shaking their head in defeat. There was nothing that they could do as the supposed-to-be-kidnapped woman pointed the kitchen knife at them and scolded them for their cooking. They are supposed to fight, not cook so what should be expected? Most of the time, they could just eat about anything and as long as all of them does not have hungry stomach, the taste doesn't really matter.

And then there was Konoe who is still cooking, placing another finished dish on the table. Abuto’s jaw remained dropped for a first few seconds before he finally snapped out of his surprise. “Hey, young miss, you are not supposed to do that. The supplies are not gonna last like that and you are a prisoner here so you can’t just walk around like this. Hey, Captain, tell her—“

Abuto turned his head to see Kamui already seated on one of the chairs, plates of finished meals already piled up as he still keeps eating. The vice-commander of the 7th division stared blankly at their leader for a moment along with their other comrades.

Konoe gasped at the sight of Kamui eating the foods she made. Together with Abuto, they both slammed their hands on the table in front of the young captain.

“Why are you eating already?! You’re supposed to stop her—“  
“Why are you eating that!? That’s not for you—“

They said in unison at Kamui, while the said blue-eyed amanto just stared at them innocently, picking up another popcorn chicken, chewing for a bit before swallowing. “Huh? What was that?” He asked, not understanding what Konoe nor Abuto just said.

The leaf-haired Yato just placed a palm against his face, conceding already. While Konoe slammed her hand on the table again. “I said that’s not for you so why are you eating that?” She said, anger hinted through her voice.

Kamui didn’t mind as he just swallowed another piece of chicken. “Why not? This is _my_ ship. Those are _my_ ingredients. So these are _my_ foods, right?” He stated as a matter of a fact.

She stared at him for a while, frowning. This man annoys her to the bone but… he’s right. He always says the right things to her and it annoys her more. Her eyes were hidden behind her bangs for a moment before she murmured.

“…won’t let you…”

“Hm?” Kamui stared at her, tilting his head to the side as he did not hear her.

“I said I won’t let you call me _that_ again! I won’t let you group me to the likes of you. I’ll prove you wrong.” Konoe declared with strong conviction, staring into his deep blue eyes while he looked back into her now different set of hazel eyes.

“Hmm…” The vermillion-haired hummed before he closed his eyes and ate a piece of shrimp. “That so? Do your best then.”

The older Yato raised a brow and stared at Konoe as she walked off to the kitchen again, declaring that no one is allowed to cook there but her. She self-established her position in the ship already.

“What is she talking about? Prove what wrong?” Abuto asked Kamui.

The young captain looked up as he was finishing his fried rice, thinking as he was chewing. “I don’t really know.” He said. “So you don’t know but you answered??” Abuto looked at Kamui in disbelief, his eyebrow twitching in slight annoyance.

“Anyway, what should we do? She already took over the kitchen.” The vice-captain added one of his concerns.

“Why not let her? At least she can be useful while she’s here.” Kamui said before clapping his hands together as he finished his meal. “Thanks for the food.” He said mostly to himself.

“Liar. You just want to eat earth foods, don’t you?” Abuto said as he watched his captain walk out of the kitchen, following him.

“Oh, you found out?” The younger one smiled, his eyes once again hidden in his cheerful countenance.

Abuto is seriously starting to get tired of these conversations that is getting nowhere and he’s starting to think about retirement.


	5. Troublesome Duo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me typing all the ideas as fast as I can before they all disappear-- (or before I get lazy lmao). Man the length of my chapters are so inconsistent. But anyway enjoy!

The Harusame Pirate Ship caused the sands of the blazing planet that they had just landed on tremble as it hovered above its surface. The Yato tribe may be considered as one of the most durable beings in the universe but if they had one weakness, it would be the sun. This planet must be their most hated land. There exists a total of five suns after all, making the entire planet look like a desert.

Now, they wouldn’t normally agree to go there but the newly established system of the Harusame made them unable to decline this business trip. Their young commander had been a candidate for the position of Admiral as he had been a few years back but somehow, Kamui declined this time; the reason would be the responsibility that would be put on his hands.

Due to the deaths of the Elders of the former Harusame, everything is in disarray right now and holding a power or a higher position would mean that he would be one of those who will have to wipe the asses of those below. Sure, if it’s just eliminating the trouble, that’s an easy job. But _fixing_ it, no thanks, Kamui will have to pass on that. So until everything is fixed, the young Yato prefers to stay below.

Today, they are tasked to pick up some _goods;_ of course the illegal ones that they have to carry under the noses of the government officials. However, good thing this planet has no officials, nor a government so it’s an easy business. A batch of Yato men, almost ten of them, had assembled at the conference room as Abuto briefed them on the goods that they will pick up. Apparently, some of them are truly harmful and poisonous so they would have to be careful.

It had been awhile since the men had left and Kamui found himself standing before the large glass window of their ship, his gaze fixed on the sands that are scattered before him. Even if the glass is thick, he could already feel the slight heat coming from outside. Unlike Hosen, he is not too sensitive when it comes to the mighty force of the sun but he does understand the irritation that comes after being under it for too long.

“Captain! They are back but...” A Yato member ran to him and announced with a worried countenance.

Kamui followed his subordinate to a large room filled with beds. It’s sort of their infirmary area which is rarely used and had become a storage for different kinds of supplies. Not many of them gets injured at once after all, so the room has almost never been used. When their young leader arrived, he was met with all ten of his men laying on each of the mattress.

“What happened?” Kamui asked, his expression remaining nonchalant.

“They brought the goods back but looks like one of them was harmful. Apparently, there was one that was gas-like and it resulted to this. They were able to bring everything except those.” Abuto explained, his face remaining indifferent as well just like Kamui. They know all too well that this is not enough to kill their kind but he guessed it would be bad if they don’t hurry and fix this.

“We haven’t identified yet the real cause of this so it may take a bit of time to find something.” The older one added. Blue orbs just remained fixed on his men as he listened to his vice-commander. “I see. They’ll get better on their own so we can let it be and leave.” Kamui decided. There’s no way these guys will die from poison, he believes. But if they do, then so be it. That means that they are weak and would die sooner or later anyway.

Suddenly, a gasp came from the doorway and except the ones who are in pain in the bed, they all shifted their attention to the source of the sound. There at the doorway stands the earthling woman who is carrying boxes of ingredients to who-knows-where. She had quickly put it down beside the doorway before rushing to the side of the bed.

“What happened to them?” Konoe asked, a slight worry hinted through her voice.

Abuto raised a brow at the farce that this girl might be pulling at them. Everyone in the room probably thinks the same. “Don’t tell me that you’re worried? Young miss, we don’t die from poison if that’s what you’re thinking. It's just like a bad diarrhea to us.” The older Yato responded.

Konoe decided to ignore the retort and examine what’s in front of her instead. “Poison…?” She looked closely at the skin of the man lying on the bed and quickly examined his arm. Her eyes spotted some faint purple spots that are forming on his skin and she looked around for the others as well. All same symptoms that are appearing.

She has seen this in a medical book before. Growing up in the palace of the emperor means she was not deprived of education. In fact, she was able to study different fields such as science, history, politics, and even household chores-related matters. “I know this, it’s caused by a rare plant that grows in humid places. If we don’t find a cure soon, they will die in just about five hours.” She stated worriedly, looking at Kamui and Abuto.

There was this slight feeling of disgust from Kamui as he looked into the worried eyes of their supposed to be prisoner. _Are earthlings really this dumb?_ He thought as Konoe’s unnecessary worry reminded him of his sister and it annoyed him. Kagura, having lived on earth for so long now, has been influenced with this kind of attitude. It forcefully reminds him of something he had long wanted to forget.

“I can find the cure for this. It grows along with the plant. I’ll look around for it.” Konoe stated, her determined eyes staring at Kamui and Abuto, waiting for some kind of response.

“That’s none of your business.” Kamui responded coldly. “If they die, that means they are weak enough to actually be defeated by something like this. If they live, then they get to stay on this ship.” He added which made Konoe furrow her brows more, standing up to face Kamui properly.

“How could you? These are your clan members, right? You’re… You’re such a—“ She halted halfway from what she was saying, staring at Kamui for a moment as his former words echoed in her mind.

_“Same eyes as me…”_

The vermillion-haired Yato just remained staring back at her, waiting for the rest of her words when it didn’t come out. Instead, her gaze shifted towards her feet and her fists at her sides. They were trembling in anger that she is suppressing and her knuckles are already turning white. A sigh interrupted the argument that is unfolding and both eyes of the two young ones looked at the source.

Man, this is such a pain. It did not come to Abuto that he will have to handle two brats in the ship. Kamui was already too much for him but this earthling woman is also too stubborn for her own good. He will have to admit that if she can help with the cure, then they could use her. In addition to that, Abuto really doesn’t want to lose any more of their tribe members.

“Captain, I understand where you are coming from.” Abuto started. He really does. He had been with Kamui for so long and he knows the truth behind his words. The young Yato just really trusts their Yato blood and thinks that all his members are strong enough to overcome things like these. Unfortunately, Abuto also thinks it’s not worthy to just bet on their blood in defeating everything. He had been alive for too long to know that their blood is no good despite taking pride in it.

“But you know, it’s hard to recruit more fellow clan members these days. We can’t really move the ass of this ship with just a few of us too. Losing ten would be a blow to our force.” Abuto continued, staring at Kamui with his tired eyes and the younger one just looked back at him with his sharp stare. He knows that the brat in his captain is irritated but he knows Kamui is also mature enough to take in some facts. If there is anyone who can oppose Kamui's decision, it would be his vice-commander.

* * *

With that, Kamui had now wrapped himself with bandages, from his face, all the way to his arms the same way he did back when he first arrived on earth to visit Yoshiwara. He thought that the earth would be a blazing hot planet so he wrapped himself with bandages for extra caution but in the end, earth was bearable. Their umbrella was more than enough. Hosen had built an underground city and that made Kamui think that they won't be able to survive there; apparently, his deceased boss was only exaggerating. 

For this planet though, it will be a bit tougher to shield himself but he will die first before he admits that this can weaken him. The large door of their ship slowly opened and he could already feel the heat coming from the grounds and the skies of this dry planet. However, he believes that this will never be enough to faze him. This is just a part of his journey to being strong.

Konoe wore a bamboo hat and as for her, this kind of heat should make her still fine for a few hours. It would be bad to stay for long though so she has to find the plant as soon as possible. She watched as Kamui stepped out of the ship, shielding himself using his umbrella while wrapped with all those bandages. She knows that the Yato does not like sun, she has researched so much about them after all, but she didn’t know they would be _this_ cautious.

They had both set out but how come they became a team in this tiny mission? Well, that Abuto guy made the apparently captain of the ship choose between looking after the men or going outside. Kamui easily chose to go outside because he’s not very good at sitting around for so long. Plus, it may be a chance for him to fight someone because he has been gearing up for some kind of battle for awhile now.

Konoe followed Kamui down the steel path of the ship and onto the sandy surface of the planet. She watched as the door of the ship slowly closed before she shifted her gaze to Kamui who had started to walk to the nearby main town, probably the only actual town on that planet. She quickly ran after him, surprised that he’s letting her off on her own when she’s basically a prisoner in their ship.

“… Kamui, right?” She inquired as she walked beside him, trying to match his hasty footsteps. She was not sure of his name but after a few days of stay in the ship, she heard his members talk about him and mention his name from time to time.

“You’re not on a tour so you better not pull me down, _samurai kid_.” He said, his voice not that muffled under the layer of bandage he wrapped around his face.

A visible vein popped on Konoe’s forehead at that statement. Where did that even come from? There she was trying to be nice so that they’ll get along and finish this thing and here he is being an asshole. She is doing this for his men too. Well, it’s not like they asked her but still!

“I’ll have to let you know that I have a name. It’s Konoe. Yes, I’m a samurai but I’m not a kid. You’re not that much older than me, aren’t you??” She blurted out, trying not to lose her cool in this hot place. In fact, she thinks that they are about only at the same age.

“As long as you are a _weak_ samurai, then you are a kid.” Kamui responded, his blue eyes remaining fixed forward as he gazed coldly at the approaching entrance of the town.

“What kind of logic is that!?” Konoe finally exclaimed, not getting how this man’s head works. For a young captain, she thought he’s a logical kind of person but apparently, he acts more of like a nincompoop.

Kamui did not respond as they entered the town. Surprisingly, for such a hot planet, the town is actually busy and thriving with numbers of stalls around. The inhabitants did not look too much different from humans but they did not look completely like humans as well. Some of them had elf-like ears while some had antennas or different colors of skin. They are all dressed in white clothing and only half of their faces could be seen as they have their entire bodies covered.

“Let’s split up to find it faster.” Konoe revealed a small paper in her hand with a drawing of the plant that they need to look for. There was a silence and when she did not hear from Kamui, she looked up at him and met his stare. She could see the full distrust mirroring through his cold cerulean orbs. “Well, does it look like there are any other ships here that I can board to escape?” She pointed out to him and so Kamui took the paper.

“Also, I’ll have to let you know but I may not be too skilled as a warrior but as a samurai, once I decide to do something, I stay true to it. Even if it means helping my enemies.” She said, looking down at her sword strapped to her side.

“I know. Samurai are weird and really like sticking their noses in other’s business.” Kamui stated, knowing all too well how earthlings are, particularly the samurai. They are a big part of why their family’s relationship had been mended back after all. “If you’re not back here in an hour, I’ll have to let you know as well that hunting you down is easy.” He threatened before going off on his own.

Konoe just stared as Kamui jumped off somewhere, clearly annoyed at his attitude. But for now, she has been entrusted with a task and so she will fulfill it.


	6. Beliefs and Reality

A heavy sigh escaped her lips as she walked around the town of the blazing planet that they are in. The place where she is right now seems like the main market where trading happens. Konoe’s hazel orbs darted around to look for any kinds of sign where she could find the plant that she is looking for. However, this is getting tougher than she expected; not because of the amount of different creatures walking around, or the numerous stalls that stand before her but because of the heat coming both from the ground and above. The sandy surface that she is standing on does not help as well.

Each step is starting to drain her energy and somehow, her mind wandered off to the vermillion-haired Yato she was with earlier. The sun here is tough and it made her think of the possibilities that the heat could do to the young pirate leader. Perhaps... it’s her chance to actually run away? It dangerously crossed her mind for a second before she quickly retracted her idea. Just how low can she get to actually dishonor her name as a samurai? She had stated with conviction that she will resolve this and she has to be determined to do so. After all, another way to finally tell those Yato to their faces how humans are way better than their proud race is to actually make them owe her.

Once a samurai decides to do something, they make sure to accomplish it to the end.

However, Konoe is still quite lost as this is her first time in this strange planet and she is not sure where to start. After realizing that walking around aimlessly may cause her nothing but fatigue, she decided to approach each stalls instead, asking each vendors and merchants if they have the said plant that she needs. Unfortunately, they do not have it. One of the reasons they don’t sell it is because it does not survive for long after being picked from its roots so stocking up on it is a bad idea. They have offered her something though; they will fetch it for her for they know the place where to obtain it.

“Really? That would be so helpful! Thank you so much!” Konoe exclaimed excitedly, placing both her hands together as a sign of her gratitude.

“Yes, yes, we fetch it for quite a lot of pirates, merchants, and traders here. This is the amount.” The old man who owns one of the stalls called his men after giving her a piece of paper, instructing them to fetch the plant at the nearby forest. The young earthling took the said paper and quickly scanned the amount with an excited smile plastered on her face when her eyes immediately bulged out. The amount of zeroes were unbelievable and not just that, she does not even have a single cent on her. Konoe just realized that maybe she should have asked for some money from those pirates. Surely, they’d have much to pay for this.

“Wait, wait!” The raven-haired immediately interrupted, giving them back the receipt. “Sorry, I don’t have this much on me right now… I’ll try to come back!” She immediately bowed as a sign of apology.

After doing so, she turned her heels to walk away, her face heating up not because of the sun but because of how embarrassing things had turned out. She reached for her bamboo hat to cover her face before turning her head back slightly to sneak a glance at the merchant who offered to fetch the plant and she could see the dirty looks they had given her. She immediately turned her head forward once again. It was her fault for even striking a deal with a merchant despite not having money.

Konoe fanned herself with her hand to ease some heat that is starting to get to her before her eyes shifted slightly to the sky. The suns are slightly higher now and she guessed that the time to meet back with Kamui is almost there. What can she do now? Maybe she should meet him and ask money? A sudden flash of idea came down on her as she remembered the words of the merchant to his men.

_Right! The forest! He mentioned to fetch it there. I could just do it myself._

She thought to herself before asking an old lady at the nearby stall about the location of the forest and luckily, she gave her the needed directions. Without hesitation, Konoe headed there by foot which is surprisingly not far. There is slightly an elevated land which looks like the only path up to this small rocky uphill. This seems to be the only rocky surface on that planet. When she reached the top, she could see group of trees nearby the cliff. The trees looked slightly different in shapes and colors compared to earth; what’s more surprising is that they grow at such a dry and rocky piece of land.

Her eyes scanned the area and she could almost view the entire town; not far from there, she could also view the two Harusame pirate ships that the 7th division owns. Slowly, she took steps forward to reach the trees and when she did, she immediately saw the plants growing along with the trees. The poisonous ones that are releasing gas-like substance and with it, its very own antidote is the plant that she’s looking for. It’s both attached to the tree and it was quite high so she drew her sword, carefully cutting the medicine plant from its stem.

A few fell down to the ground and she picked it up when she heard footsteps not far from behind her. Konoe turned around to see who the fellows are when she met some familiar faces. These amanto men are the ones from the first merchant who offered to get these plants for her. However, right now, they are carrying weapons instead. Hazel orbs observed them, her eyes showing alertness before she spoke. “Sorry, I got the plant now. Thank you for offering your help.” She stated, hoping that their intentions are not what she has in mind.

“Nah, we’re not here for the plant now, lil’ lady.” One of the men spoke, he was carrying such a large cutlass that seems so sharp and he motioned it towards the direction of the nearby Harusame pirate ship. “You’re with those pirates, right? Then it’s more easier ‘cause we can just take you as our hostage to cough up some money from them.”

At that statement, Konoe’s eyes went blank. She does not know if she wants to laugh or get angry at what the stupid amanto had just assumed. It’s one thing to get associated with the Harusame but it’s also _another_ thing to assume that those barbarians would spend a single cent for her entire being. “No, I wouldn’t if I were you. I’m also their hostage, you see. But I don’t think they will spend some money for me. They’ll probably just let me go and get some other hostage if that’s the case. Or, what’s worse is that, you guys will only get yourselves killed.”

Her last words bore a hint of threat. It was not to scare them but rather, she was being honest with them. The abilities of those monsters in the ship could take down these amanto in just a split second. Furthermore, she does not want to waste the lives of these guys. It does not take long to realize how difficult their lives are in this dry planet. Even though they may be bad, she wants to believe that there is a reason why they are resorting to these kinds of ways to get money. She at least wants to believe that in the bad, there is still something good in them, just as her father had told her.

“Are you mocking us, you bitch!?” The amanto behind the first one that spoke blurted out.

“How about we make a deal instead?” Konoe did not let their anger faze her. She has to stay calm to sort this out herself. She sheathed her sword back to the scabbard before she held it to her front to show to the group of the amanto. “I’m sure you guys had heard of the planet earth before. This sword is from there and it belongs to the great home of the emperor, the leader of a country there. I will give you this and you can sell it for the same amount you had showed me on your receipt earlier. Or maybe more.” She offered, purposely showing them the intricate design and golden carvings on the scabbard.

That’s right, even if it means selling the very soul of a samurai, as long as she can settle this without bloodshed, she will go down that path. Konoe is sure that that’s what her father would have done as well. The amanto looked at each other to see what their decision would be and they all nodded. “Put it on the ground.” The leader who has a cutlass stated. “Put your weapon down too.” Konoe commanded as well and without hesitation, they had put their weapons down.

She placed the sheathed sword down and took a few steps backward, letting the amanto approach to obtain it.

* * *

_Patience._

If there is anything that Kamui really lacks, that is patience. He tries sometimes but he has lived freely for almost his entire life ever since he ran away from home so it’s harder to execute it. Most of the time, he actually got he wanted through fighting for it and… well, killing for it. If there is anything that stops him from obtaining what he wants, he gets rid of it. Of course, it’s needless to say that the stronger that hindrance is, the better and more fun for him. For other matters such as business, he sees it as trivial so he lets Abuto handles it.

One could say that this is almost like a first time for him to be engaged in a search for something that does not require him to immediately kill. He’s almost losing his so-called patience as he had done nothing but walk around the sandy town under the blazing hot climate. The young Yato had been in this town several times before for business but never had he stayed longer than five minutes maybe. Not just because of the irritating heat but because of the nature of the place itself. There are stalls around but he never dared to ask anyone there.

These people here are very much like them, not in the aspect of strength, but in the aspect of evilness. This planet does not have its own government and therefore, there are no authorities. Due to that fact, somehow, in order to survive, Kamui is aware that the entire town is at least engaged in coordinated crimes. They are all cooperating to lure outsiders such as traders, merchants, tourists, and even pirates. They all pretend to have these stalls as if they are doing normal business but once you let your guard down, you can be lured into one of their scams and never be seen again.

Well, they had never tried it with their Harusame 7th division before but Kamui had heard from Abuto before that the 5th division almost lost their entire fleet from this planet. At least, these amanto are intelligent enough not to dare a fleet of entire Yato unit. Or maybe they are not that intelligent, after all. His instincts are telling him that something _fun_ is going to unfold so he has to be patient. That’s right, he has to practice more patience and eventually, fun things happen. He had practiced this trait before by sparing that white-haired samurai’s life, and even more so now, he can wait again for another worthy opponent. He would be lying however if he says that his fists don’t crave blood on them right now.

After scanning the town and finding nothing, Kamui realized that maybe it’s time to finally be back to their meeting place. It’s almost an hour now and the heat is not doing any good for him. The sweat that is forming on his forehead is starting to get irritating so he turned his heel to finally go back to the entrance of the town to meet the stubborn earthling. When he got there, it was empty as the vast desert of the planet and he could only see their ship from the distance. He took a device from his pocket that he uses to communicate with Abuto. He turned it on and the old Yato’s face popped from its tiny screen.

“Abuto, is the earthling back yet?” Kamui asked, his signature carefree smile plastered on his face despite the bandages.

“Hah? Not yet. Don’t tell me you actually got separated? Come on, captain, that’s just one girl—“ The younger Yato immediately turned off the device. That’s the only answer he needed to hear. Kamui already expected this much. After all, that girl was not informed of how things work in this planet. A dark smile formed on Kamui’s face as his cerulean orbs shifted at the protruding rocky hill nearby the town. See what happens when he tries to be patient?

_Time for his small fun._

* * *

The leader of the group of amanto slowly approached the sword that Konoe placed on the ground while she just remained standing a few steps away from the said item. She gulped nervously as she stared at the sword. The only item left from her that reminds her so much of her samurai country is now going to disappear as well. She must not waver, after all, she has already decided to change. She’s not going to hate anymore. She’s going to do things in a way that saves others even if she has to give up her own soul.

The amanto bent down to pick up the sword, just a few inches now and the tips of his fingers are almost touching the beautiful carvings of the scabbard—

A sudden shadow hovered above and the source landed so fast that none of them were able to react immediately. The strong impact of whatever that fell from the sky caused Konoe fall to her own back but she quickly sat, coughing lightly as the smoke and dust covered the whole cliff side as if a bomb had just been thrown down on them. Some dust particles tickled her eyes and so she could only open one to gaze at the situation. “W-What happened…?” She asked only to let out a surprised gasp.

As the dust and smoke had slowly cleared, both her eyes opened to the scene in front of her. The amanto that was about to fetch her sword is now… lifeless. His body so deformed, blood messily splattered as if he’s some kind of insect that was stepped on. What… what just happened…? She could not quite comprehend what had occurred before her eyes finally looked up to see a form standing above the broken body in front of her. Konoe could not see his face as the glare of the sun became perfectly aligned with his position but she knows who he is.

“K-Kamui… why…?” She only managed to say as Kamui finally stepped off from the dead body, his umbrella opened wide and shielding him from the sun. But he looked back at her with the stupid closed-eyed smile. And she knows he’s smiling behind those bandages wrapped around his face. “I told you, didn’t I? That I’ll hunt you down if you’re not back in an hour.” He responded cheerfully.

“B-Brother… Brother!!” One of the amanto yelled out in despair. “You bitch!! So you were planning this!!” They yelled at her and all drew out their weapons, charging forward at Kamui.

“No… I didn’t…” Konoe choked out as she was still dumbfounded. She watched as the Yato’s footsteps left blood trails from his boots as he started to attack the men in front of him, mercilessly slaughtering them. With his strength, it took no effort for him to decapitate them, deform them, and draw blood from their bodies. Just like always, she cannot do anything. She could do nothing but watch as he takes lives and she knows, despite not seeing Kamui’s face, he has pure joy in him as his fists finally got some taste of blood.

“Stop… Kamui, stop!!” She yelled her heart out, tears streaming down from her face. But it was already too late. Everyone already laid there, lifeless and unrecognizable as the merciless murder occurred. Konoe immediately got up and wiped her tears. “Why?! Why did you even come here?!” She shouted at him and she was seething with anger. Her eyes so dark as she waited for his answer. But he did not answer, instead, he ignored her and walked away casually with a smile.

“I’m talking to you! Why did you even come here!? Everything was okay! Why do you always have to ruin everything!?” She added, her voice showing so much agony. With that, Kamui stopped in his tracks and turned around to face her, wearing a bored expression as if he can’t be bothered.

_Why are you so heartless?_

His steps sounded loud in her ears as dead silence occupied the place. He walked towards her direction only to stop at the first body he had killed. His cold blue eyes stared down at it and Konoe felt sick to her stomach at the sight of the deformed corpse. She wanted to vomit as she was reminded of the amanto’s life just seconds before he was crushed like a worthless insect. Kamui lifted his foot and the top of his boot touched what seemed like the shoulder of the body.

He used it to kick the body lightly and flip it. Despite the blood that covered it, there was something evident with the corpse. The hand was holding something and it was releasing a toxic gas that she is familiar with. The amanto is holding… a poisonous plant. Konoe stared for a moment in disbelief while Kamui’s face remained uninterested as he kept staring down at the corpse.

“These poisonous things were not part of the items we were supposed to pick up. They had intentionally poisoned some of our men to draw us out. Just like pirates, they are not interested in one source of money. If they can have it all, why would they settle for that little sword of yours?” Kamui stated and Konoe glared angrily at him.

“Unfortunately, just because you believe that there is good in people, doesn’t mean they would be really good to you. If you’re good in this world, you’ll just be taken advantage of.” The vermillion-haired Yato added, throwing her the words that felt like a stab to her. She is aware that people can be bad but she wanted to believe in the good again. Is it wrong for her to do so? Her eyes stared blankly at the ground, sadness mirroring through her hazel orbs.

“Let’s go.” The Yato paid no heed to her newfound realization and the signature smile of his is back on his face, eyes closed and uncaring as if he had done something so refreshing. “Also, people don’t change that easily. Especially the bad ones.” He added. Konoe did not want to hear any more of it but she knows it’s the truth. But agreeing with him means that she is only proving her father wrong and so she followed Kamui, walking far behind him as thoughts occupied her mind and her heart.

* * *

As soon as they got back, Konoe quietly prepared the medicine and when the group of Yato men took it, they instantly felt better. A normal human would require even a day of rest but these creatures can stand immediately as if nothing had happened. Abuto finally lets out a sigh of relief and commanded them all to finally get their ass back to work. “Well, that went well. Looks like you got some brains, young miss.” Abuto said to Konoe which had gone ignored by her.

It’s not that she ignored him but she was too deep into her thoughts that she just walked out of the room without saying a word of response to the older Yato. Abuto raised a brow at the earthling’s strange behavior and in the end, his realization pointed him back to his captain. “That idiot… what did he do this time, I wonder?” The vice-commander sighed as he asked himself.

Konoe walked down the hallways of the ship, staring down at the steel floor when she had heard footsteps nearby as well and so she quickly walked backwards to hide behind the corner of the metallic wall. She rested there for a while before she took a peek to see who was that and she saw Kamui walking normally before stopping in his tracks. His eyes were almost hidden behind his fringes but she was surprised when she saw his hand touch the wall as if to support himself.

_Could it be…?_

She has read before that too much exposure to the sun for the Yato is bad. It causes them to momentarily weaken and sometimes, it even causes them to catch a cold. Well, of course… it was her fault too that she had to stay out for so long and Kamui ended up being exposed to the sun for a long amount of time. She’s still angry at him… but, she knows how to pay people back for what she owes them.

A loud creak of the metal door sounded as Kamui opened the door to his room but Konoe immediately revealed herself from the nearby corner and he stared at her as she walked towards his direction. She stopped in front of him as he kept the door open. He didn’t speak and waited for whatever she has to say. Somehow, he finds himself anticipating whatever this earthling has to say to him. Her weak views and values are entertaining after all.

“You’re right. People don’t change easily. I will be a hypocrite if I don’t agree but… I still believe that people can change. Your... your fellow clansman had killed my family before. But that’s why I won’t let you kill my father’s memories and teachings as well. I will prove you wrong that there is always good even in bad people, just like yourself.” She stated, staring into his eyes.

“That’s it?” Kamui smiled, his eyes now seemingly closed. “Like I said, do your best. Make sure you don’t lose again... to yourself, that is.” He said mockingly but Konoe takes it as a challenge from him. She will not let him laugh at her anymore. The young Yato proceeded to enter his room and closed the door, leaving Konoe staring at the closed metal door. She completely forgot to give him a medicine for fever and so she slipped the medicine at the small opening under the door before walking away.

He can at least treat himself.


	7. Homesick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I miss Kamui sm. Here you go!!

Abuto sighed for the fifth time that day as he was checking the inventory for their supplies. Most of their needs in the ship are about to run out and when he did a check for their food supplies, each boxes were already empty as the black hole in the space. The thing is, even if most of them are monster eaters, their food supplies are supposed to last a month and a half. A large part of their budget is actually allocated to the food because that’s _obviously_ the most important especially for their commander.

They have other appointments to do but looks like they will have to start purchasing food supplies. This is starting to get challenging especially to someone like Abuto who does the budgeting reports for their division and Kamui does nothing but lazily sign all the papers without even reading them. But somehow, he always manages to spot the bonus pay approval for the other members without even reading it and would just reject it, much to the older Yato’s disappointment.

Anyway, the issue is, their new cook or captive actually, would always cook an amount of food that is truly detrimental to their food supplies. He will have to lecture her about that or she’s terminated; which is not supposed to be possible, because she’s not really a member of this ship. With that, it was announced to everyone that there will be no food in the next few hours because there’s really nothing to cook anymore. They will just have to bear with it for now as they are nearing the planet where they can restock.

As soon as they had landed, the large metal door of the spaceship opened, revealing such a large group of Yato with all their umbrellas opened while they walked down the metal path. It was truly a frightening sight to behold; species that could destroy even a star gathered together would scare even an entire army of a country. They did the last checks and reminders of the things that they are tasked to do, leaving the entire spaceship empty besides two members who will guard the ship and their earthling captive.

“Ah, wait!” They were about to walk off when a voice shouted for them from the entrance.

They all turned to look and speaking of the devil, there she was, the earthling woman running down the steel pathway towards them. Konoe stopped right in front of Abuto, placing her hands on her knees first as she tried to catch her breath before standing straight and excitedly looking at him. “Me too, take me with you.” She stated out of nowhere and there was a dead silence while everyone looked at her like she had grown another head.

“Hah? You okay in the head, young lady? A captive should do what a captive should and that is to behave and stay in the ship. You are not on a field trip so scram back inside.” Abuto replied, using his hand to gesture as if he’s shooing her away.

Konoe immediately frowned at the response, looking down to think of a reason for them to let her. It had been days since she’s been out of the ship and they had done nothing but float around the galaxy since then. She wants some fresh air and walk around. In addition to that, she heard during one conversation and that this planet is like earth and she could see it already especially the weather; she had been excited for this somehow. Once again, she looked up at the older Yato, her eyes determined but _almost_ practically begging.

“I’m the cook, aren’t I? Shouldn’t I be the one responsible in picking up the ingredients? I promise I won’t mess it up and I’ll even cook more earth foods that you haven’t tasted yet!” She announced, her hands forming a fist in front of her in determination.

It was dumb for her to think that Abuto would consider just because of such a petty reason; no one would be caught in such a bait. “Listen, that’s not the issue here, young mi—“

“Why not let her?” A voice interrupted and it was the vermillion-haired commander who has a twitching cowlick attached on his head. He had been quiet the whole time but he was just there, smiling with his eyes closed as always. The vice-commander stared blankly at his young boss. Ah, yes, there he was; of course _he_ will be caught in a food bait. Kamui may have his eyes closed but Abuto can see through him and all his objective. Of course, if it means that he gets to eat more delicious meals, the captain would allow anything. The raven-haired lady almost did not expect it but her face brightened at Kamui’s decision.

“Ah, right. Well, then.” Abuto responded with his tired tone; his face looked done as he stared blankly at his captain. Turning his heels along with the entire 7th division except Kamui, they walked hurriedly down the steel path of their ship, leaving their captain and the earthling. “Since it’s your decision, you can take responsibility for it. We will be meeting with the 2nd division captain and you have a different agenda today, right? See you later, captain. Make sure you don’t lose the earthling.” The older Yato added as they all continued to walk away, further and further.

With that, Kamui opened his eyes. “Wait, Abuto!” He called to his vice-commander but it was obvious that they were hurrying as they took off somewhere else. They seem to be done with his petty decisions and they would not spoil him any longer. There was dead silence at first as Konoe and Kamui stood there at the steel path of the ship, watching after the backs of the other Yato members as they all left. Even the wind blew some sands just to fill in for the awkward silence.

Konoe held both of her hands and looked away, frowning. There she was, alone with this insensitive idiot once again. She tried to get along with him the last time they were alone together but… things happened. Anyway, she wanted to avoid him as much as possible because she knows he’s mocking her due to their different values in life. As much as she tried to, she cannot read Kamui. Konoe wants to believe that he’s not a completely black-hearted man; at least that’s what she wants to convince herself. But the way he just smiles while he takes lives makes her waver.

Along with her though, Kamui frowned as well. “Those guys left me with a dead weight again.” He stated.

Her hazel-eyes immediately darted to the Yato, sending him a glare. “Who are you calling a dead weight? I don’t remember ever asking for your help and I will never ask for your help.”

Kamui looked over at her as he was under the shade of his umbrella. He smiled and she could see how he’s belittling her through his eyes. “Make sure you don’t get yourself in another trouble then.” He retorted before walking down the path. The raven-haired female followed him closely, glaring at him as if she’s boring holes at his back. She will show him that the Yato blood that he prides himself with is nothing and that strength is not the most important thing in the world. She will make him eat his own words.

They were nearing the entrance of another large town when Konoe remembered something important. She’s here to buy food supplies but she has no money. “W-Wait.” She called out, telling herself that this is for her sworn duty. Abandoning her pride, she held out her hand to him, watching as Kamui turned to look at her and looking down at her hand.

“ _What?_ Afraid you’ll get lost? I’m not holding your hand, samurai kid.” Apparently, the young captain of the 7th division interpreted such gesture as something else.

A visible vein popped on Konoe’s forehead as she quickly retracted her hand back. “Who wants to hold your hand!? Stop calling me a kid, we’re only about the same age! My name is Konoe!” She blurted out but she quickly tried to calm herself down. It’s unbelievable how he can easily make people lose their cool with his attitude. Now she knows why that Abuto guy seems to be aging fast. She held her hand out again, staring into his bright blue orbs. “I need money to buy ingredients.”

“Who said you’ll only be buying a few? You’ll be buying loads of it. Get them in a truck and have it sent to the ship. Someone will receive it there to pay.” Kamui instructed before he quickly turned around. “I have something important to do. I expect that you’ll be here in an hour.” He reminded her with his usual close-eyed smile but his voice was filled with a threatening tone. With that, he jumped off somewhere again, leaving the earthling on her own.

Konoe was dumbfounded for a moment before she blinked her eyes a few times. _Truck?_ It looks like this is going to be a way more challenging shopping than she expected. She’s starting to regret now volunteering for this but she has no choice anymore.

_I guess this is still better than being inside that gloomy spaceship._

She thought as her hazel eyes focused at the entrance of the town and it looked lively. It was very much like earth as there was diversity when it comes to the people. Everyone was wearing different clothes, the sellers are yelling their advertisements, and even though there are more amanto-looking species, there are those who look like humans too. A small smile curled from her lips.

_She realized she misses home._


	8. Another Trouble

Azure hues enveloped the skies of the Planet called Tsūshō. It is said that the planet is the center of commerce in the entire galaxy and various trades are held there. To sum it up, almost the entire planet is just like a big market. Flying ships are hovering above and tall buildings surrounded the area; at the same time, there are these stalls and different kinds of stores as well.

Currently, Konoe found herself in the middle of a humongous and busy market. Her feet brought her to various streets and her hazel eyes scanned the area while her lips formed a smile. It was such a refreshing sight to witness and it reminded her of her dear home planet. Although she has not been to a lot of markets, she had been in a large and famous market in Kyoto where trades happen as well.

The thought of escaping from the hands of the Harusame tempted her, especially due to the banners of low price tickets back to Earth that are posted everywhere. Maybe she could and maybe she actually should but if she does somehow escape, everything she had protected until now, the palace, the princess, the guards, the court ladies… her home would be in danger. She had enough of people losing their lives. Hers is enough as a sacrifice.

With that in mind, she focused on shopping; for now, as long as she can survive, she can think of a way in the coming days. She could make herself useful at the ship instead to gain the trust of the Yato unit before she could make her move. She knows that a chance for her to escape would come and that is without compromising the safety of those she protected. Her feet then halted in front of a large store which almost looked like a warehouse.

Bunch of amantos were there and they seemed busy; however, the smell of the spices inside could not fool her trained nose. Rare and high quality ingredients for cooking are there and she could definitely purchase those. Without hesitation, she approached the amanto who was in front of the said humongous store.

“Hi, I just want to ask if you could sell some spices to our ship?” Konoe inquired.

The amanto with a leaf-like complexion looked at her and grabbed a paper along with a pen. “Well, what’s your company name?”

Her eyes blinked a few times before adding another question along with her answer. “Do you perhaps supply for large corporations and ships? I came from the Harusame’s ship.”

The man gave her a look. “Harusame? You’re a pirate? You look like an Earthling. Don’t tell me you’re a Yato.” The amanto stated before writing things down on the receipt.

It was one thing to get associated with the Yato but it’s another thing to _be_ mistaken as one. Konoe felt offended somehow. “No.” She quickly answered. “Just a newly hired cook.”

“I see. Must be tough.” The amanto commented before handing over a piece of paper to her. “Write which Harusame division and the address where your ship is. You can sign over there.” He instructed her and she did as she was told. “The Harusame is known around here?” She asked before handing him the paper for scanning.

“What do ya’ mean? They are known in the entire galaxy. They always buy our stuff too.” He responded and read the details that she wrote, confirming that they will deliver to the ship.

After her first transaction, Konoe couldn’t help but let a smile adorn her countenance. The amanto in this planet seem to be more cordial than the former planet that they’ve been to, which means that there is probably less danger in roaming around. As expected of a place that is the center for trading, everyone seemed to be very interactive.

One could say that she almost felt relaxed; the first ever feeling she encountered after she was taken from her own planet. This is her chance to finally idle and take her time despite the threat that the Harusame’s 7th division captain had given her. It’s not like she’s fleeing. Well, she considered but she knows better than not doing so. _For now_.

The earthling then went to various shops that supply ingredients such as vegetable, meat, seafood, and all other seasonings. If there is anything that she learned for the past weeks of her stay with the Yato is that they are all gluttonous; the vice-commander could be a bit of an exception from time to time but that vermillion-haired captain is the biggest pig of them all when it comes to eating.

It horrified her at first; however, she easily got used to it. She’d rather not ponder about where all the food that they consume go though, as they don’t seem to be gaining weight. Her thoughts hastily went back to the shopping list that she kept in her mind instead. She could say she is almost done; fortunately, all the shops are familiar with the Harusame and they agreed to deliver the supplies to the ship. If there is any worry that bothered her mind would be, the prices for the things she asked to be delivered.

She won’t get in trouble, _right?_ Konoe certainly does not want that Abuto guy nagging at her about their division’s budget. She shrugged the thought off as she freely roamed around the busy streets, checking different stores and letting herself get amused at the amanto innovation. This is one of the factors why their planet got easily invaded by the amanto; their technology surely surpasses those that were not even thought of possible on Earth.

After some time of roaming around, the raven-haired decided that it’s probably time to go back. She did not want to do what Kamui says but she certainly does not want to be hunted down. So she turned her heels to the path that leads back to their meeting place when a tug at her kimono sleeve stopped her. Her hazel eyes darted down only to meet eyes that are almost the same shade as hers. It was a little kid. A very human looking little boy who is probably around ten years old, wearing tattered clothes.

It immediately halted her and she bent down to meet the same height of the child. “Hey there.” She started. “Are you lost? Where are your parents?” Konoe asked, her eyes filled with worry and curiosity if this child is indeed from Earth.

The child shook his head but still held onto her kimono. “Big sister, are you a tourist? Wanna visit our shop, please?” He asked, but almost practically begging her with the look in his eyes.

She did not have the heart to reject such a request. Whatever they are selling, they can probably buy a portion of it. Sure, she would be scolded by that vice-commander if it’s something that they don’t need but how can she not try to help a fellow earthling? And so she nodded.

“Alright, where is your shop?” She sent the little child a smile and held his delicate hand instead. The child then led her, gently dragging her to the path where their said shop stood. The thought that there are humans that were most probably kidnapped and escapees at some point saddened her greatly. Since they can’t go back to their home planet easily, they are forced to make a living in an unknown planet. She wanted to ask if that is the case for this child. She wanted to help but how can she do that when she can’t even help herself? At least for now, she could try to meet the family of this child or whoever he is staying with.

After walking for a while, the child led her to an alleyway and pointed to a red metallic door. “That’s the entrance of our shop!” He announced innocently. “It’s not noticeable so no one comes here often. I always have to bring people instead.” The child added. Konoe could never doubt a child because as for an Earthly belief, a child could never lie. She gave a light nod instead and had let the child lead her inside the small and tattered building.

* * *

As soon as the door opened, there was a staircase that led upstairs which they took. It was very dim inside and she was careful not to stumble. The only source of light after all, is a hanging light bulb that glows faintly. It was the same at the hallway of the second floor; there were series of dim light bulbs hanging and some were even flickering, struggling to stay alive to light up the path.

It would be a lie to say that this place did not scare her; it almost looked like a setting for a horror movie where a ghost could appear anytime. Except it was not a ghost that appeared but an amanto with a head that is almost similar to a lizard. He was standing beside a door at the hallway when he finally noticed the child and Konoe.

“Hiiro, looks like you brought another one. Damn, you’re good. I wish the others would learn from you.” The amanto spoke as he opened the door. Konoe gave him a confused stare so he spoke again. “Why don’t you come inside, young miss?” He held the door open for her and she could see the dim light inside that is almost the shade of orange. There are a few amanto males inside and from there, it felt like her feet were glued at the hallway.

“I…” She started, her eyes widening ever so slightly as her breathing hitched but she tried to maintain her composure. Her instincts are strongly telling her that the place is not safe and she has to leave as soon as possible. “I forgot… I have to go.” Her nervous hazel eyes darted to the child beside her who is now holding her hand instead, his grip tightening.

“Why? You said you’ll visit our shop?” The child, whose name is Hiiro as she heard, smiled up and blinked his innocent eyes at her direction.

Konoe is aware at that moment that this is not a shop and the amanto definitely caught wind of her realization for when she tugged her hand out of the child’s grip, he quickly grabbed her wrist and threw her inside the room. _He was strong_. The raven-haired winced in pain as she fell onto the ground almost face first but fortunately, she caught herself with her palms.

Immediately, she shifted and stood up, glaring at the several amanto inside the room. She realized that she had been surrounded so easily and knows better that no amount of glare would scare these creatures. They snickered at her like she’s a cornered small animal for their taking and it ticked her off, her eyes quickly scanning the dimly lit room for any opening for her escape.

“Don’t even think about it. No matter where you search, you won’t be able to escape from here.” One of the amanto spoke, he was large in build and his skin is leafy green in color as well just like the rest of the amanto inside.

"Why? What do you want from me?” Konoe asked, putting up a brave expression as much as she can. However, if she had to admit it, she’s a bit afraid of her situation. For now, she has to assume that she is there to be kidnapped and most probably be sold.

“There shouldn’t really be a need for explaining but oh well.” The same amanto replied, staring at his knife before licking it gently. “We are dealers. We sell women as sex slaves.” Her eyes widened slightly in shock at that statement which caused the amanto’s smile to widen. “Don’t think badly of us, there has been a huge demand for Earthling women and you just happened to be picked up by our asset. He is one of you but he’s having fun here with us. Pretty useful, right?”

When she looked around, the kid that brought her there is gone now. The raven-haired woman realized how grave her situation had become but if she is going to be sold, that means there should be some time before she is brought somewhere. Definitely, she would have a chance to escape—

“Before we transport our goods, we try them out first though.” At that statement, her heart dropped and she wishes she just heard it wrong or misinterpreted things. Her body immediately felt rigid and she felt trapped, her feet slowly backing until her back felt the cold wall. One of the amanto laughed and approached her.

“W-What are you… don’t touch me!” Konoe shouted but he grabbed her wrist, easily throwing her on the floor once again.

Warm tears welled up in her eyes as her face had hit the cold floor, feeling her lower lip take the impact causing it to bleed. She paid no heed however and immediately sat up, once again backing against the wall while she sat there. Her arms reached only for herself, as if covering her own body for what is about to come. “No… please.” The earthling begged, lips trembling as tears trickled down her cold cheeks.

The amantos that surrounded her just let out a laugh, joking at one another that they like their women begging. _Dumfounded._ She stared at them in a dumbfounded manner; how can they take joy in someone’s suffering? How could they? It did not make sense to her and she felt the hatred starting to envelop her heart once again.

“What are you laughing at?! Y-You horrible monsters!” Konoe shouted at them but a hand immediately met her cheek, a slap strongly landing on her face.

“Bitch, just behave and be like the slut that you are!” Another amanto shouted and they grabbed her arms so she struggled on the floor and away from them but they are plenty strong for her physically. Another resistance that she did and she was met with a slap again. The raven-haired could do nothing but wail.

“Stop—stop please!” Konoe cried for help or any kind of mercy that they could offer her but of course, that was all futile. She kept her eyes tightly shut as she felt them tear some parts of her kimono, from her legs to her chest which caused some to let out some excited cheers.

What did she do to deserve this? She just trusted a little child and only wanted to help but this is what she gets. She doesn’t deserve this. She hates this. She hates them, she hates everyone. She’s scared, oh, she’s so sacred. Her voice wanted to scream for her parents, for the people that she knows who would protect her.

_Someone, please anyone—_

In the midst of her cries and their laughs, the metallic door of the room suddenly went down, causing all of them to look at the direction of the entrance. However, before they could all even find out the culprit that invaded and destroyed the door, the lizard-looking amanto who was supposed to be guarding the door, flew across the room. His figure had met the wall and the impact was enough for his head to puncture the cemented surface.

“That’s more than an hour so I thought I’ll hunt you down but looks like you got yourself in another trouble.” An almost gentle voice came from the entrance. Despite his features being hidden by the dust that filled the room from the light rumble that he had created from destroying a wall, Konoe knew.

_It’s him._

She knew him. She knew his voice. But she never knew that she would ever feel relieved seeing him. Konoe does not want to admit it but she’s glad.

She’s glad that Kamui’s here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna pretend that this is the start of romance-


	9. The Monster Inside Her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the romance starts soon. :((

Sheltered under the cool shade of his umbrella, the vermillion-haired amanto strolled at the busy streets of the Planet known as Tsūshō. As pirates who wander around the vast galaxy, they had been in multiple planets; however, this planet is one of the distinct places that they have been to numerous times. After all, most of the supplies they need in their ships are bought here as recommended by other Harusame Divisions.

“Sir, care to stop by at our shop?” An amanto woman called out to the young Yato, sending a sly smile at his way as she waved her hand.

“We would give discounts for you, sir.” Another woman, now appearing beside the first one who had called and tried to urge him as well. She carefully followed his tracks but made sure herself that she does not close the gap between them.

Good decision.

It would have been _dangerous_ if she went as far as to try and drag him. However, they are aware of that. They are aware of the existence of the Harusame and they are aware of the danger that a Yato poses. As if deaf from their persuasion, Kamui continued to march down the street with his usual smile plastered on his face. Just like any other planets that that they have been to, prostitution is still rampant even in such a place focused on commerce as well.

However, it did not interest the young captain of the 7th Division. Despite the incident in Yoshiwara being four years ago, one could say that Kamui’s perspective when it comes to women still had not changed. They could give birth to strong children but most of them are weak. He is not speaking about the physical aspect only; they also often allow their emotions to take over, further weakening their soul.

Surely, he had met some strong women but he would never admit his sister to be one of them. However, those from Yoshiwara back on Earth definitely had flames in their eyes. They may be weak in their body but their souls were strong enough to take down his former boss. Still, they did not interest him. If their purpose is to serve a man and please him then in his eyes, they are merely tools that hold no value to him.

If there would be anything that is important to the young Yato that would make him desire to visit a planet, it is this place that he just arrived at. When he mentioned to Abuto that he would be going somewhere important, it meant that it is _truly_ important. So he continued to walk, closing his umbrella before opening the door of the small building. Pleasant smell immediately assaulted his senses and it made the blood in him boil in excitement.

“Welcome! Let me guide you to your seat, sir.” An amanto guided him to a table and Kamui did follow, sitting at the table beside the large glass window. It gave him a full view of the busy street outside. What is better than going to a meeting with other divisions? This is definitely way more important, his appointment with his favorite restaurant. Trivial matters such as business, Abuto can handle that and so he sat there comfortably, ordering everything from the menu and waited patiently for his foods.

It no longer surprised the workers there and so, they obediently prepared the entire menu for the Yato. Large platters slowly filled his table while the plates are immediately piling up, giving such immense pressure for the chef to cook everything before Kamui runs out of food to consume from his table. It surely did please his black hole of a stomach.

Upon finishing one of his plates, he grabbed another platter that was placed on his table. While chewing, his eyes darted outside and caught a familiar figure. It was the earthling captive from their ship and she was being dragged by a greasy kid who looked like a fellow earthling. They seem to be going somewhere as the kid led her. It did pique his interest and made him wonder for a moment about their destination but as soon as another platter was placed on his table, his curiosity was replaced with anticipation.

_Well, he can deal with that later._

* * *

Satisfied and with a full stomach, Kamui left the restaurant with a smile. Supposedly, Abuto and the rest should be back soon as well from their meeting with another division. All that is left is the earthling and so the captain of the 7th Division walked to the meeting place where he had instructed her to wait. Somehow, when he arrived at the place and it was empty as that earthling’s head, he was not surprised at all.

This time, he did not bother to use the radio and ask if the samurai kid is back because his instincts are telling him that she sure is hell not. He would be lying if he said that finding the earthling in such a populated planet would be easy. If she actually tried to run away then she should be prepared to be ripped apart. Kamui thought as a dark smile formed on his countenance instead.

However, pictures of the earlier scene that he witnessed while he was at the restaurant flashed in his mind. He remembered an earthling kid dragging their captive to somewhere and that should lead him to their location. Kamui calmly walked back to the busy streets to look for the kid but despite the calmness of his outer appearance, patience is something that he easily loses. He will not tell his vice-commander about this, though. He doesn’t really want further criticism from Abuto regarding his way of handling their bargaining tool.

_Oh, he’ll deal with this in his own way._

The Yato backtracked his steps from the restaurant and to the path that the kid and their captive took. He remained alert and focused on his surroundings, anything unusual occurring can serve as a clue. A sound of a clanking can caught his attention and when he turned to look at the sidewalk, the dirty kid was there but he was already alone. The earthling is no longer with him. He lifted up his empty can as soon as he saw Kamui approaching.

“Big brother, can you give me some coins?” The kid smiled up innocently at him.

“Well, I can’t give you anything yet…” The Yato crouched down to be at the same level of the kid, his wrist resting on his knee while the other continued to hold his umbrella open. “But will you help big brother here? You see, I need that earthling back.” Kamui said with a slightly lower voice, a threat hidden in his tone.

He thought that the kid would be smart enough but looks like he is trying to be clever because after a pause and silence between then, he had decided to put on a confused expression. “Earthling…? What is that?” The young boy tilted his head to the side, blinking up innocently at the Harusame captain. Kamui is not too patient and he does not like playing games so he grabbed the little boy’s can, gently crushing it in his hand easily to a point that it looked like a ball of crushed paper.

“I’m not patient you see. If you don’t want me to crush your head like this can, you’ll tell me where that dumb earthling is.” The vermillion-haired declared.

That is when the young boy realized that he is not dealing with a gentle-looking man here. He should have known that the guy is a Yato and avoided him. With fear in his eyes, he continued to look at Kamui before nodding slowly. “I-I’ll tell you…” He said quietly, his form trembling at the mere killing intent emanating from the young Yato.

“Good boy.” Kamui smiled and stood up straight, letting the kid lead him. They strolled down the street and the further they went, the more turns they did, the fewer the people had become. Then they arrived at an alleyway and from there, a small building stood with a crimson metallic door. As soon as the kid opened the door, a blood-curdling scream from a woman came. It seems like the entire building is cushioning the sounds that came from the inside. No doubt, that scream is from the earthling.

They walked upstairs to where the scream and pleas of the earthling could be heard louder and louder each time they got closer. The kid trembled visibly and a lizard looking amanto approached them. His vision could not make out the person that their young comrade had brought and so he walked closer.

“Hey, Hiiro, who is th—“ Before he could even finish his query, Kamui grabbed the amanto’s face. With ease, he threw the amanto at the door, effectively bringing it down and his body even going as far as to the other side of the room, puncturing the wall open. Smoke and dust filled the room for a moment but the Yato walked inside with a smile. He could tell that there are at least ten amantos inside the dim and cramped room.

“That’s more than an hour so I thought I’ll hunt you down but looks like you got yourself in another trouble.” He started, the smoke clearing and finally, he could see the earthling sitting there on the floor. He can safely assume he made it just in time as he examined the situation. Konoe looked like a mess as she sat there, her form quivering in fear. Her face was stained with tears and she was struggling to hold the torn kimono around her to cover her almost exposed parts.

“Did I ruin your fun? Sorry about that. That earthling right there is our bargaining tool, you see.” Kamui said as he walked inside. The amantos stared in shock at their comrade who flew across the room just by getting thrown by this unknown man. Good thing they know and would probably consider before fighting a Yato as they all seem to be frozen in place while the vermillion-haired casually approached the earthling sitting on the floor.

Hazel eyes that were in shock slowly regained back its awareness. Konoe then realizes that the approaching figure in front of her is Kamui and her lips trembled, tears flowing from her eyes like waterfalls; her cold cheeks looked redder than usual as it further got damped. If anything, she looked like a little kid who was lost and finally got found by someone she is familiar with.

“You’re not looking too good.” The Yato said calmly with a smile, crouching down in front of Konoe and resting both his wrists on his knees.

The group of amanto just watched the scene in front of them, frozen as if time had stopped for them. They know that once they make a move, they will surely lose their lives. Kamui is more than glad that such weaklings know their place.

As for Konoe, her sobbing did not halt but her quivering figure finally subsided. She would be lying if she says that she is not glad about Kamui’s arrival. He barely made it for the amantos were able to at least undress her and ruin her clothing. Slowly, her steady breathing came back and the painful squeeze in her heart disappeared. She is no longer frightened of the horrors that she would have experienced had the vermillion-haired Yato not arrived.

The past arguments and disagreements from their previous interactions had instantly disappeared from her and she could feel the relief rush from deep inside her, knowing that she is saved from these horrible monsters that tried to ruin her. Kamui could see that and Konoe did not try to hide it from him in the slightest. Her feelings were completely open as she lets her guard down in front of him for the first time.

The relief mirroring through her eyes were quite amusing to watch. It almost looked as if he was a hero who had arrived just in time to save the day. _Definitely laughable._ He tried to hold it in and so his lips curled to a small smirk. Unfortunately for her, he’s not a hero.

_A villain. He’s a villain._

He isn’t like these weaklings who pretend to be villains but he’s a true villain with strength to ruin and hunt down his prey. If there is any monster in that room that they should all be afraid of, it’s him and if there is anyone that Konoe should truly hate, it’s him. He tilted his head slightly as he searched for her eyes, looking into it before he spoke.

“So, what do you want me to do…?” Kamui started, staring deep into her eyes as he lowered his voice so only the earthling could hear him.

Konoe’s eyes widened slightly and he could see it. He caught her and she knew it. She knew that it’s a bait from Kamui that he is tempting her to take. Right now, her feelings are fragile and she could no longer hide it from herself that she wants no remnants of these horrible beings to remain in existence. She lowered her head, looking down as she tried not to meet Kamui’s eyes.

“…Do you want me to kill them?” Without hesitation, the Yato asked, a smile remaining plastered on his countenance.

As if her spirit had died and it could be mirrored through her hazel eyes, she hid it behind her raven-colored fringes. Gripping tightly on the kimono on her chest, keeping it together, she slowly gave a nod and that signal was enough for Kamui’s smile to widen. He stood up and faced the group of the amanto that are scattered around them.

“Well, looks like you are all going to die.” 

* * *

It was as if mere seconds had only passed but the room that was once filled with life is now dead silent. The silence was deafening and the metallic scent of blood assaulted her senses. Konoe did not dare to look around, knowing that there are nothing but dead bodies around her. Her eyes were facing forward but she was truly staring at emptiness.

With her broken spirit, she looked good as dead as well. She’s nothing but a disgraceful samurai who holds no values and cannot follow the way of life she decided to take. Kamui may be the one who slaughtered the amantos but right now, she’s the one whose hands are truly stained with blood. They could have just left. The amantos could have just let them go with Kamui being there as they seemed afraid of him. However, she decided that she wanted them to die. She wanted them killed.

_She killed them._

With a smile still lingering on his face, the Yato took one last look at the corpses around him to confirm their death. He removed the bandages around his arms that are now covered with blood and let them fall on the ground, making his hands as clean as newly washed. He had made it a habit to wrap bandages around his arms for easier cleaning of his hands after killing.

“I’m done cleaning up, time to go.” Kamui said cheerfully but when he did not get any response, he turned to look at Konoe.

Cerulean orbs scanned the earthling and besides the dead look in her eyes, there seems to be no problem with her. He considered that maybe she is hurt and cannot stand but that does not seem to be the case for he sees no open wounds around her legs. It’s true that her lips are bruised and her cheek is swelling but that should not be enough to affect her movements.

That was when realization had hit his empty head. Upon examining, the kimono that she is wearing is all torn and Konoe had not made any shifting from her position because most likely, whatever piece she is holding to cover her nearly exposed flesh would immediately fall. He guessed she’s still a woman and cannot go out like that. His eyes scanned the area, trying to find a cleaner clothing but everything is already stained with blood.

She remained sitting there, holding the kimono to her chest to cover her flesh there when a cream-colored cloth landed in front of her. It snapped her out of her thoughts and she stared at the familiar cloth. Slowly, she lifted up her eyes and saw that Kamui is no longer wearing his cape, only in his plain black Chinese clothing. Her eyes remained staring at his back for awhile, confusion written all over her face.

“Hurry up and wear that. It’s time to go.”

He said before walking towards the door, going to the hallway to give her time to get dressed. Konoe did as she was told, wearing his large cape and making sure to have it wrapped around her enough to cover her whole body. There was nothing but silence as they made their way back to the ship. She did not know what to say, what to feel, or what to think. Is she even allowed to regret anything when it was her who requested their deaths?

Is she allowed to be a samurai who holds the same _bushido_ as her honorable deceased father?

She did not know and so she clenched the cape that she wrapped around her. It was warm inside it. Her eyes darted at Kamui, staring at his back as he walked in front of her. She had called him a monster.

_"Same eyes as me..."_

_He's right. Is she even allowed to feel human? When there is a monster inside her._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Bushido = Code of honor and morals for the Samurai.


	10. Broken Soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Suicidal Thoughts

The constant flow of people and amantos alike caused the eyes of the older night rabbit to tire out. Abuto did not count the minutes or probably the hours of waiting for their young leader and the captive of their ship. He had been standing there at the entrance of their spaceship for quite a long time now, his eyes glued at the opening of the large city.

Troublesome their captain may be, he at least shows up a _little_ early. Fortunately, Abuto is much more patient than most men. Finally, the subject of his long wait appeared. His eyes lingered on both his young captain and the earthling. The moment they got close enough to the vice-commander, he immediately lectured.

“Hey miss, you really bought some expensive stuff. Do you know how much it costed us?” Abuto started, a small vein appearing at the side of his forehead.

Silence. There was nothing but silence and it made the older man raise a brow. 

The vice-commander then realized something was off. He could not figure it out yet but the earthling's dead gaze was glued to the ground, looking like a mess and his commander’s cape is now wrapped around her. His eyes shifted to Kamui who is smiling dumbly as usual. This is one of the times when Abuto would like to guess what happened but he does not know why he could not bring anything in mind. He could only wonder what kind of trouble the earthling went through with the younger pirate. 

“Sorry. I’m not feeling well.” Konoe stated and immediately ran past Abuto. The older Yato furrowed his eyebrows and shifted his gaze to Kamui. He did not even speak and just stared accusingly at the younger one.

“Don’t insult me like that. I did my best and worked hard, you know?” The younger immediately replied, knowing that look that his vice-commander is sending him. The vermillion-haired walked inside the ship and the large metallic door closed.

Abuto followed behind his young commander. “Worked hard, my ass. The lady is clearly not alright.”

“If you’re that worried then you can just spend your time consoling her. I’m not a babysitter.” Kamui smiled and left his vice-commander. Abuto just stood there and sighed. He, himself, definitely does not want to become a babysitter for another brat once again. As long as the Earthling made it back in one piece, he guessed that’s alright. For now, he will just have to keep an eye on the earthling more to make sure that she does not get in any more trouble with their young leader.

* * *

The loud bang of the metallic door did not faze her as it shut itself close behind her. Konoe remained standing in the middle of her room before she strode to the bathroom in hurried steps as if someone is after her. _Her inner monsters are after her._ With her delicate hand, she turned the shower on, letting the cold water drench her entire being.

_It’s not enough._

She tilted her head upwards and closed her eyes, the water cascading directly to her countenance. The metallic taste of blood lingered in her mouth from all the hit she had taken from the amanto men. It was supposed to be painful, the way her lips and cheek are bruised yet she feels nothing from her skin. She could not feel the cold water, nor the unwelcomed touches she had taken from the men who tried to violate her.

If there is anything she could feel, it is the pain of the broken soul inside her. She took off the large, wet cape around her and everything else followed. She desperately washed her bare body, scratching her skin harshly with soap but it did not change anything. She felt tainted and filthy and… inhumane.

She failed as a samurai and when a samurai fails, it’s… _seppuku_.

Konoe walked out of the bathroom and grabbed a clean yukata, wrapping it around her. Her eyes caught her father’s sword that is resting at the corner of the room and she carefully picked it up. She unsheathed it and was immediately met with her reflection through the clear blade. Her dead hazel orbs stared back at her and she could not see anything but the eyes of a _monster._

With two trembling hands, she gripped the handle and shifted the sword so the tip is pointing at her stomach. It should be easy. She could just disembowel herself and still die with honor. As someone who broke her own code, she could just end everything as how it should be. At this rate, she’s just back again to the time when she was first brought to this ship. No, back at the time when she started to vow to herself to hate her family’s murderer.

_But why can’t she do it?_

Why can’t she just pierce herself with her own father’s sword and end this suffering? Her hands are trembling and she could not even bring herself to tears. Her broken soul is raging, angry at herself for not being able to do anything. She’s not a samurai. She’s not even a human. She’s just a monster who always blames those around her for her circumstances and does nothing to change anything. She never fights for anyone, not even for herself.

Gritting her teeth, she strode out of her room barefooted and only an unsheathed sword in her hand. With her eyes hidden behind her dark fringes, she walked inside the large training room filled with varying equipment. However, she was slightly surprised at another presence that was there. It was Kamui.

His back was facing her but she could see the movements of his shoulders. Up and down, as if he had been there for quite awhile now for he is breathing heavily. She could not point it out but there was this heavy atmosphere in the room which probably already existed even before she got there. Did he not kill enough today? It seemed to her that Kamui is blowing off some steam. A thin film of sweat covered his pale skin and she found out he was aware of her presence when he suddenly spoke without turning to look at her.

“That’s fast. I thought you’re going to mope around for days.” Kamui stated teasingly before breaking his fighting form and sending a strong kick in the air.

With that, something clicked inside her once again and without saying a word, she ran towards to Kamui with her sword pointed at the young Yato. The vermillion-haired pirate turned to look at her direction only to find her already assaulting him.

“Oh? Looking for a fight?” He laughed lightly as he evaded each of her attacks easily when suddenly, one particular movement of hers became sharp enough to _almost_ catch him off guard. Konoe swung the sword skillfully from below and upwards towards the Yato’s neck. Mere inches and she could have caught him which caused Kamui’s azure orbs to widen.

A dangerous grin formed from the Yato’s lips as he jumped a few steps away from the earthling. “…so you actually _do_ have it in you.” The young night rabbit stated excitedly.

It was such a nice surprise to him. Oh, that swordsmanship. He wants to see it again. He wants to feel that blade nearing him, almost tearing his skin, and drawing his blood. He would then draw _hers._ Her blood and he would see how much she could fight him to death. The excitement it brought him made the blood inside him boil in a way that he wants to break her, make sure that she would put up a fight worthy of him taking her lif—

_No. No._

_He almost forgot. He has to calm his beastly blood._

Kamui almost gritted his teeth in annoyance, knowing that he can’t kill this samurai in front of him. He discreetly inhaled to regain the control back to himself and watched the earthling as she once again ran towards him. She swung her sword again, her movements less sharp but he could feel that she is really aiming for him this time around.

Konoe was starting to feel more and more exasperated; her breathing started to get heavier each time she cut through the thin air. “Why. Won’t! You! Fight!” She shouted each word as she kept attacking Kamui but he was just evading her with his signature closed-eye smile. It was extremely vexing.

“If you won’t fight back, how can I let all these negative feelings out!?” She shouted at him and gritted her teeth, swinging her sword at him one more time before she stopped to just glare at him. That was when realization had hit the young Yato. Kamui may be oblivious most of the time but he’s not dumb. He’s not a captain of a fleet for nothing.

“You, are you using me to kill you?” He inquired with a serious tone, a dangerous glint appearing in his ocean blue eyes but his smile remained from his lips.

Her hazel-eyes widened slightly and she looked down. Suddenly, she felt the warm liquid form in her eyes so she desperately tried to hide it behind her fringes. The sword in her hand visibly started to shake as she trembled. She did not answer him but she knows that Kamui knew as well what she was trying to make him do. She was trying to use him to end her suffering.

She could feel the Yato’s gaze lingering on her, awaiting for her response but it did not come. Instead, she sobbed loudly as she had let her tears finally stream down her cheeks. She hated how she could not cry alone but now that someone had pointed out her desire, her tear ducts immediately betrayed her. She wished it would just all end for her, this suffering and this throbbing pain inside her chest.

“I… I failed.” Konoe started. “After all the things I said to you, in the end… I-I’m really no different.” She took one deep breath before continuing without looking at him. She cannot look at him and meet his gaze. “I’m not a samurai. I don’t deserve to carry the same code as my honorable father or even hold his sword that protected so many people.” Once again, she closed her eyes tight as she cried without hesitation in front of the commander of the Harusame. “I can never protect, I can only hate. To a samurai, breaking your code is not different from dying… that’s why, I just want it to end.”

There was only silence as Kamui did not respond. It was deafening and she wished to escape from everything.

“Nonsense.” Finally, he spoke and Konoe lifted her head up slowly to look at him. She could not read his expression but he looked more serious than his usual façade. A small smile then curled from his lips as he crossed his arms.

“You really never fail to disappoint me. Here I thought you have that special strength in you but it looks I was wrong.” He added which made the girl frown more. “I don’t know all about these samurai stuff and I’m not really interested because I think those are really just excuses to look strong.” Kamui paused for a bit, his smile widening ever so slightly.

“You know why you failed? It’s because you’re _weak._ ” He had really put some kind of emphasis to that last word and he could see her hazel eyes widen as if she was surprised by that fact.

“I’m not only talking about physically. I’ve fought a few samurai before and they were _strong._ Not physically as well but their swords were strong. Their soul in their swords were strong enough to rival a Yato. For you though, you’re weak both in body and in soul.” With that, Kamui started to walk and past her but his steps halted when he was few steps away from the door. Konoe did not look at him, both their backs facing each other.

“Getting back up no matter how many times your enemy… your inner enemy brings you down, is the way to be a truly strong warrior. Killing yourself or letting yourself be killed, giving up while you can still fight and calling it honorable is just an excuse for weaklings. Even an ant’s blood that bites you before you crush it is more worthy than yours.” He took a few steps to the door before pausing once again as if he was reminded of something.

“Oh, and don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to make you feel better but just to let you know, I did not kill those guys because you told me to. I was really planning to kill them anyway. Because that’s how I am.

After all _, I’m a monster, right?_ ”

Kamui left her a few words, a teasing tone obvious through his voice. He finally walked out of the room, leaving the female samurai dumbfounded as she slowly turned to look at the pathway to the door, her eyes glued at the Yato’s disappearing silhouette.


End file.
